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Digital technologies are here to stay, and it’s undeniable that they have reconfigured family dynamics. This is one of the areas Escobar investigates.
The conversation begins with the psychologist stating that “current family dynamics have been significantly affected by digital technology,” and that its effect will depend greatly on the cultures and ages present in each household. Given the phenomenon that more and more children and adolescents are using technology, her stance remains firm: “It’s somewhat idyllic to think we can raise children and adolescents without screens. Digital technology is here to stay, so adults need to be responsible about it. Digital technology opens a very broad window, and we must know how to manage that space.”
What factors do you think parents should pay attention to for the proper development of their child, considering that various external factors such as technology are intruding nowadays?
I believe it is very important to consider that a child needs to form emotional bonds of trust for their proper development, and this is done through face-to-face relationships. Therefore, it is important to optimize those spaces with the different family members. Another very important factor is free play, being able to run, interact with other people, and exercise physically. So, I think families and family dynamics face a big challenge because digital entertainment has a strong influence compared to outdoor entertainment.
Parents and caregivers need to be mindful of how much time is spent in different spaces that contribute to development. What about friendships? What about playtime? What about learning? What about leisure time? What about simply resting without interference from other stimuli? All these spaces are necessary for optimal development.
“It’s not the same for a teenager who plays online for an hour a day but spends the rest of the time going to school, playing sports, and talking with parents at home, as it is for a teenager who comes home from school, locks themselves in their room, and spends the whole day until bedtime playing online games.”
And to incorporate technology, since it cannot be avoided in family dynamics, could there be a way to integrate it positively?
There are certain recommendations that we should follow. The first is to try to avoid screen use with young children and delay exposure to screens as much as possible, while understanding that it is important for them to know how to navigate the digital world. The second is to monitor how much time is spent on screens.
Another point is the content. What are they watching? There is good content designed to generate learning, tailored to specific developmental stages. There is other content not suitable for certain age groups or intended for adults. We must understand that when we allow access to a digital device—be it a computer, phone, or any device with internet—we are also opening up a vast space for interaction with people and environments that we should be aware of.
Another aspect is the family rules regarding digital device use. The less control or monitoring we have over the digital spaces they inhabit, the more we put them at risk. Parental controls are another tool parents should know and learn to use to supervise the digital spaces our children inhabit.
Regarding the education of children and adolescents, how do school dynamics change with the presence of technology, for example?
Again, it is not a matter of black and white, but shades of gray that need to be navigated. The first thing is to consider why digital tools are used in educational spaces. For example, videos that support educational training can be beneficial from an early age. However, the use of cell phones in school is another matter. We need to ask ourselves if it is necessary. For example, does it make sense for four-year-olds to have tablets? We can question this. But for older children, using tablets for exercises or programming can be justified if the device supports learning versus being used solely for entertainment, when other skills could be utilized in that age group.
We should not demonize digital tools in schools, but their use must be regulated. For instance, does a child need their cell phone in class? Probably not, and it can interfere with face-to-face interaction, which is important. But if digital devices are used for educational practices, such as quickly assessing understanding through questionnaires, it can be justified for older students. Thus, it depends on the age group, the purpose, and the rules set, similar to those at home. What are the rules for using devices at school? What are the rules for using devices at home?
This debate is very interesting and must be had in schools, with parents and students mediating the relationship. I imagine the pandemic marked a before and after in the use of technology for school and family dynamics. How do you see it? How was that process? Because the post-pandemic effects are still visible.
In digital terms, the pandemic had both positive and negative effects. It reduced much face-to-face social interaction, limiting us to virtual social contact.From a psychological perspective, we saw many cases of difficulties reintegrating socially. Social life and peer relationships provide many social tools, achieved through face-to-face interactions. Another issue was exposing very young children to devices. I study parental burnout, which skyrocketed during the pandemic. We observed that even though screens are not recommended for young children, they became a resource. When a mother had to place her child in front of the computer for class, work, prepare meals, and couldn’t go outside, and the child was home 24/7, what could she do? It was likely healthier for a three-year-old to watch a video for a while than to have a stressed-out mother who might yell or get angry. So, we should not demonize the use of digital tools as a resource. We must relearn to engage with the outside world, return to playgrounds, and real social networks.
You mentioned parental burnout. Could you elaborate on that concept?
It is a syndrome that has increased in prevalence, characterized by excessive exhaustion related to parenting, emotional disconnection from children, loss of pleasure in parenting, and the feeling of doing a poor job as a parent. It involves a contrast between who you were and who you’ve become as a parent. It arises from chronic stress due to many stressors and few resources to cope. When this imbalance persists, it can lead to this syndrome. Parental burnout consists of these four main symptoms.
You mentioned resources, implying that stressors increase and resources decrease. Are you referring to economic capacity or technological devices?
Resources are broad, ranging from being a creative mom who plays with the kids to having someone to care for the kids while you work, or even having a computer for each child during the pandemic. Resources can be both material and personal capacities. During the pandemic, electronic devices became a resource for parents.
Do you think socioeconomic status influences this syndrome?
Not necessarily. It is more about individual characteristics and family dynamics. A perfectionist mom with a high socioeconomic status can experience more stress due to self-imposed demands, while a mom with fewer resources but confidence in her parenting may not. It is generally more prevalent in moms than dads.
So, factors like moral values and mental health also influence it.
Yes, mental health, the nature of relationships, and personality traits.
Could you recommend some resources, such as apps, books, websites, or any tools that could help parents improve family dynamics?
There is a bombardment of experts on good parenting and positive or respectful parenting, which can be an additional stressor. There are Instagram accounts for moms and dads that I find very helpful without presenting an idealistic view or being judgmental. Manuela Molina’s MindHeart and psychologist Andrea Cardemil’s accounts are beneficial.
The biggest mistake with electronic devices, especially for young children, is using them to calm them, as it causes high frustration levels. We must be very careful about why we use technology, ensuring it is for learning or entertainment and not to calm the child. These accounts talk a lot about emotional regulation and how to manage it with young children.
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